Creationists Explain Things: Human Evolution


Please note that these are all direct quotes from creationists taken from the many public domain creation/evolution debates. I have collected these for years, and many of the debate sites no longer exist. Even so, I wager that I could replace them today without too much trouble. I have arranged them some, but I have not altered original spelling or grammar. GH

“Creation has just as much evidence as evolution does. That is a known fact. Besides it is just a theory. If you really look at the evidence for evolution, and the evidence for creation, you will see that science supports a young-earth. Evolution has NEVER been observed. That is a FACT. “

“Think about it, if one organism mutated and walked out of the sea and begain to breath air it would have to find a mate with the same exact mutations in order to reproduce,and if 2 of the oppsite sex did walk out of the sea they would have to find each other to reproduce. If evolution were true we would see things evolving today somewhere or some fossil record , their is none It is conceivable that wind might blow a pile of toothpicks dumped from a picnic table into an arrangement resembling a model airplane. Given time, it could happen. But if that feak event does happen, would it remain if still subject to time and gale winds? Would it even complexify? “

“One example of this gradualism would be man’s walk from a single celled organism to homo sapein. Man began as this simple critter and began to slowly grow more complex over billions of years until he reached the biggest stage of his evolutionary development, a whale-like critter resembling a hippopotamus (try to keep a straight face as you read this, I’m trying to as I write it). From these whales-like critters, both man and whale emerged.”

“First, in order for something to “evolve” there has to be some type of gene mutation. 99% of all gene mutations result in a negative effect on a organism. Let’s assume that a mutation occured in a monkey 1 million years ago (the estimated age for modern man’s entrance to the world). Lets say this mutation results in less hair, resulting in a nude monkey which would be the precursor to modern man. How many different genes do you think man has than a monkey? There are alot. So even if there was one mutation that resulted in a monkey changing, think about how many different mutations that would have to occur in order toacheive a man. If we came from monkeys…why are there still monkeys? Monkeys would be walking out of the jungle and putting on buisness suits and going to Law school, hmmmmm , maybe there is evolution after all.”


99% of all gene mutations result in a negative effect on a organism.

Interesting. By my calculations, about 20% of point mutations should be neutral, resulting in isoalleles.

Interesting. By my calculations, about 20% of point mutations should be neutral, resulting in isoalleles.

And I’m sure that’s only counting mutations in open reading frames.

Crazy. Please post more of these quotations.

Didn’t TO have a “best comment of the week” or something like that, which typically included ane xtremely braindead cretinist statements?

Glad you liked them.

We have discussed the posibility of the “Wedgie” a weekly of monthy award for the most inane comment by an Intelligent Design creationist.

My next creato aggregate will be, “Fossil Dating.”

I’m worried that creationists (or “cretinists” - thanks, Jan Haugland, for that wonderful appellation!) will respond as follows when the subject of “Fossil Dating” is brought up:

“Fossil dating is fraught with difficulties. For instance, what time should you pick up the fossil? Is 4:30 too early? Is 9:00 too late? And what should you wear? Should you do dinner and a movie, or simply go clubbing? And for God’s sake, should you invite a fossil in for a nightcap at the end of the evening? All of these issues make fossil dating a highly unreliable practice.”

Or am I crediting the creationists with a little too much lucidity and wit? Hmm.

Oh my, I’ll have to post the “Fossil Dating” right soon. I wish I could use your stuff.


Is this even a real word?

“complexify” wasn’t in the OED, but what do they know?

I think it is a charming word none the less.

I can only speculate on the composit of a complexifying man/whale.

I wrote a parody of creationist thinking a few years ago, full of deliberate errors and braindead arguments. Unfortunately, genuine creationism is only slightly less insane than that, so my article has been mistaken for the real thing several times, and even been quoted (favorably) in online debates. When it comes to creationism, satire is obviously meaningless.

“When it comes to creationism, satire is obviously meaningless.”

When I read your satirical presentation, I nearly suspected that it was a real creationist’s page. I have read every one of those arguments presented by creationists at one time or another. That is why I limited myself to using creationist quotes.

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This page contains a single entry by Gary Hurd published on April 25, 2004 11:11 AM.

Hovind in trouble with law (again). was the previous entry in this blog.

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