“The Morphology of Steve”


The National Center for Science Education’s Project Steve now has a published paper appearing in the estimable journal, “The Annals of Improbable Research” (AIR).


(Photo: Dr. Steve Carr, Memorial University of Newfoundland)

Eugenie Scott, Nick Matzke, Glenn Branch, and some 430 odd Steves comprise the author list as Project Steve T-shirt order information is bent, folded, stapled, and otherwise mutilated to obtain such findings as “island dwarfism in Steves” and the infamous “mid-continental Steve deficit”.

I play an unacknowledged role in the paper as the model in the “experimental Steveometry apparatus”.

Check it out…


I am shocked that the article missed the obvious hypothesis that at least one Stephanie has VLB* accounting for the outlier data point on body size.

*VLB- Very Large Breasts

Knowing two of the Steves on that list, I was amused when last year some creationist said that the people on that list were just pressured into doing so. If they only knew.

I congratulated the two Steves that I know for their new paper.

Brilliant. Beats any ID research…

Eugenie Scott, Nick Matzke, Glenn Branch, and some 430 odd Steves …

Some odder than others. (Rissing, are you there?)


There is no dwarfism in Australian Steves (Wilkins, pers comm) but there is a marked endomorphism to be found, particularly in Steves that run free in what we Aussies call “The Bush”. There is considerable debate whether this is more a function of endogenous metabolic rates (are Steves in The Bush attracted to the region because they have slower metabolisms, and, like reptiles such as the Monitor Lizard, like to bask in the sun rather than try to maintain the requisite energy budget through food for warming their bodies?) or due to a lack of available resources, such as the natural food of Steves - beer?

The former hypothesis is supported by those who follow the Original Steve in favouring habitat tracking.

There is anecdotal evidence that, despite their body morphometry, all Aussies, including Steves of course, have extremely large endowments in the sub-abdomenal area.

Any marsupial Steves in the Australian sample

As an American living in Australia I’d like to point out that with over almot 7,700,000 km� it has almost the same land mass as the continental United States that I seen it hard to classify it as an island any more then classifying antartica as an island especially in terms of morphology of species on island compaired to mainland counterparts.…hmmm I’m taking this to seriously.

Sorry John, from my discussions with my Aussie girlfriends the sub-abdomenal area of Aussie men isn’t that great and most say that Aussie males gluteus are to flat.

PVM, I’ve never seen a woman, named Steve or not, with a pouch. I’ll keep my eye out tho…better goto the pub to pick up a sample tonight and do some investigating.

Damn, I’ve only got to get through a doctorate in science and then change my name by deed poll and I can be listed alongside Stephen Hawking as a co-author! What a brilliant piece of research - made a nice diversion from dredging through this pile of papers that needs to be read.

are all darwinists sloppy fatasses?

Are all catholics pedophiles?

The answer to both of those is no but I’d care to say that the percentage of pedophile catholic priests is a few orders of magnitude higher then the percentage of darwinist sloppy fatsses.

Oh sorry, I’m being sexist. There are plenty of complaints agianst Roman Catholic nuns sexually abusing people too.

It’s a pity Gould is not on the list, just so we could see two steves with the ‘%’ symbol after their name.

Hey Matt,

Certainly Gould could be added postumously and honorarily, but more importantly, I think a solid case can be made for God being added to the list of Steves.

Numerologically Steve is 19-20-5-22-5 which totals to 71 = 8.

God is 7-15-4 = 26 = 8

Who would have figured? If I hadn’t worked it out myself I wouldn’t have believed it. Can’t wait to let Douglas know.

I hope you aren’t alleging any other similarity, Bob. I don’t know any Steve who would torture someone for eternity.

Syntax Error: mismatched tag at line 7, column 28, byte 232 at /usr/local/lib/perl5/site_perl/mach/5.18/XML/Parser.pm line 187.

Matt Inlay wrote:

It’s a pity Gould is not on the list, just so we could see two steves with the ‘%’ symbol after their name.

Look at p. 29, n. 2, sentence 6: “The choice of name honored the recently-deceased paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould[%] …”

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This page contains a single entry by Wesley R. Elsberry published on August 2, 2004 2:23 PM.

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