Project Steve Steve

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I am here to introduce to you a new contributor to the Panda’s Thumb.

Prof. Steve Steve holds the B. Amboo Chair in Creatoinformatics at the University of Ediacara. He has been nominated five times (only twice by himself) for the Nobel Prize and has received six Barnes and Noble gift certificates. He is an J.D.-M.D.-quintuple Ph.D. (biology, chemistry, literature, mathematics, and philosophy). He has been called the Izaak Walton of information theory and the Ulysses S. Grant of drinking contests. His dissertation on the mating habits of the rufous-throated creationists of northern Alabama has been called “revolutionary,” “a tour de force,” and “nonstop, bodice-ripping action from the first page to the second page.”

At this time of year, Prof. Steve Steve is normally teaching ten classes, writing twenty papers, and directing Noh theatre; however, he recently received the Walker Prize for Walkabouts and has taken a sabbatical to travel the world exploring nature, academia, and the quality of beer in faraway places. He intends to send letters of his journey back to the Panda’s Thumb keeping us informed of his adventure.

3 TrackBacks

And He Does Windows from Mythusmage Opines on March 29, 2005 1:37 PM

Heh.... Read More

In case some of my readers haven't noticed, we are trying something new at the Panda's Thumb: Project Steve Steve. [img]http://www.dererumnatura.us/archives/images/stevesteve.jpg[/img] My wi... Read More

21 Comments

Panda, eh? So, where’s his thumb? Huh?

The problem I see is that there’s not enough satire. Everybody’s so serious. Personally, I don’t care if Kansas produces a biologist ever again. Come on, we’ve got 49 other states to work with.

His dissertation on the mating habits of the rufous-throated creationists of northern Alabama has been called “revolutionary,” “a tour de force,”…

You spelled farce incorrectly.

Isn’t this post about 3 days early?

“Sweet smoke of rhetoric” - Love’s Labours Lost

And what professional societies does he belong to?

Rilke's Grand-daughter Wrote:

And what professional societies does he belong to?

The Bear-aminology Study Group, founding member.

Also a member of the Grin-n-Bear-it Society. and a frequently donates time to the “Privacy For Our Woods Action Committee” (ok that one is a bit obscure, sorry)

He doesn’t belong to professional societies. Professional societies belong to him.

In addition to the Walker Prize, I believe Steve Steve has been nominated for the Gallupper Prize - for research demonstrating that scientific credibility is unrelated to public opinion polls.

I believe Steve Steve was nominated for but did not receive the Simpleton Prize for Regress From Research and Discovery Into Real Realities as well. He was beat out by a koala bear whose thesis was that “them cells is way more compli-mi-cated than just little blobs-O-jelly; they go wee widgets and whatall throughout’em.”

Steves are a glorious bunch.

Don’t neglect his ground-breaking paper, “Do I sh*t in the Woods?”.

Turns out, yes.

Clear proof of DD (Drunken Deshign). Did that bow-tie just happen knot itself in such a louche fashion? Using folding topographies and Markoff chain generation to model a drunkard’s walk, the probability of that goal being achieved given a stochastic process S of X(t), t is in T where for each t in T X(t) is random, and given that the state space of the stochastic process is the set of all possible values such that the random variables X(t) takes the referent represented by S, is one in ten to the power of B/Tau where B is the amount of beer drunk by Dr Steve Steve in the time Tau between arriving at the bar and being forcibly ejected.

Therefore, Boozedidit.

I propose that the DD theory of the Panda’s Tie be taught to all biology students as an alternative to Intelligent Design - it certainly has greater explicatory powers, given the Deshigner’s penchant for bodging systems, plugging in retinas back to front, slapping on random vestigial components and leaving quite so much rubbish from past projects littering the rocks. I propose further an immediate research project into the kind of booze consumed by the Deshigner, so an initial foray may be made into the competing theories of Buditit, the Martini Conjecture, Aleotropism and Grape Space Traversal. There is also a small but compelling chance of combining Guinness Crateionism and the problem of dark matter the morning after.

Cheers!

R

LeeFranke wrote,”Also a member of the Grin-n-Bear-it Society, and frequently donates time to the “Privacy For Our Woods Action Committee” (ok that one is a bit obscure, sorry)

Actually, Lee, Professor Steve is a member of the Grin-n-BARE-it Society, which is why he donates time to the “Privacy For Our Woods Action Committee.”

I’ve moved off topic posts to the BW.

I hereby nominate Professor Steve for the Nobel Medicine Prize in Literature. And also for the Nobel Prize in Mathematics.

Now I don’t want to hear anybody even mentioning Nobel nominee Dr. Steve without reminding everyone that he was nominated twice for a Nobel prize. Because he was nominated twice for a Nobel prize, you see.

Does the esteemed Professor count as two members of the Project Steve list?

Syntax Error: not well-formed (invalid token) at line 1, column 64, byte 64 at /usr/local/lib/perl5/site_perl/5.16/mach/XML/Parser.pm line 187.

Good luck in catching up with the Professor, he has been practicing Jog-Ging since his youth and following the ways of Mahayana-Escapism (dodging big cars).

Syntax Error: mismatched tag at line 5, column 2, byte 254 at /usr/local/lib/perl5/site_perl/5.16/mach/XML/Parser.pm line 187.

Reed wrote

…he recently received the Walker Prize for Walkabouts and has taken a sabbatical to travel the world exploring nature, academia, and the quality of beer in faraway places.

One might mention that many of those faraway places have strange sounding names, and some are over the sea.

RBH

B(squared) wrote

Two? Apparently you are not familiar with Prof. Dr. Steve’s full name, Stephen S. Steve.

Then presumably his Steve-number is the sum, rather than the cube, since 13= 1. Bill Dembski, please weigh in - it sounds like we’re giving Prof. S.S. Steve a free lunch (or is that the name of a boat?).

His new paper, #$@*$#@!! depth as a funding measure for the DI, has been fourty years in the making.

I’ve got a new motto for Anti ID brights, WWSSD? ( what would steve steve do?)

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This page contains a single entry by Reed A. Cartwright published on March 29, 2005 12:00 PM.

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