An Open Letter to 600 Steves


An open letter to the 600 NCSE Steves,

My dearest, my darlings, you little stinkers! In all of my 25 plus years as a professional something or other, (and believe me, I’ve done a lot of stuff for money!) nothing makes me prouder than to have been involved in what became known internationally as Project Steve. Oh, poo to project lead on one of BellSouth’s largest re-engineering software projects of the late 90s, GE Financial Services first venture into the World Wide Web and Bechtel Engineering’s Web Initiative Plan what’cha’ma’call’it. Project Steve beat the pants off all of them.

From the moment that Matt Inlay first pondered the vastness of Steves (individually or collectively, only Matt himself knows), Glenn and I fell giggling onto the floor of the NCSE office munching Twinkies and causing the Darwinian-Only Terror herself, Dr. Eugenie Scott, to come from her lair and roar, “C’mon guys, what’s so funny,” we knew we were on to something.

At first we thought it just too outrageous to even contemplate. After all, who were these so-called Steves? Botanists, geologists, paleontologists, biologists, tobacconists? Would they answer our call? Well, my boys, you did answer. With all the courage and conviction of someone who would send an email to a colleague stating, “Hey Steve, did you get one of these? Are the clowns at NCSE serious about this?” you charged to the front trenches defending quality science education.

(Continue reading… on


No cheating now - you didn’t count Prof. Steve Steve twice, did you?

The Bayesian Bouffant questions: - you didn’t count Prof. Steve Steve twice, did you?

If Prof. Steve Steve is counted then other non hominids must also be included.

Triplodon stevensii Botryosphaeria stevensii Nama stevensii Chenopodium album L. var. stevensii Pseudobaeospora stevensii Ophicephalus stevensii Paradiopsis stevensii Corticium stevensii Isoetes stevensii Pleurothallis stevensii Epidendrum stevensii Relicinopsis stevensii


This project is pure genius and makes me smile whenever I think about it, refer to it, tell others about it. Of course, I’m ticked that my name is not a Steve of some sort but since my son’s middle name is Steven does that count?! And besides I’m not a scientist; a science educator.

Yeah, you were onto something big! Way to go.


Prof. Steve Steve still hasn’t received his “Project Steve” application form. Last we heard, NCSE’s special courier, Mr. Wensleydale, was held up by the perils in deepest Berkeley that Steve Steve easily overcame.

After further consideration, perhaps organisms named steve should have their own list and their own t-shirt.

We, as organisms named stevensii agree that evolution is a vital, well-supported, unifying principle of the biological sciences, and the scientific evidence is overwhelming in favor of the idea that we share a common ancestry.

Although there are legitimate scientific debates among the Steve’s who study us, especially about the patterns and processes of stevensii evolution, there is no serious doubt that evolution occurred or that natural selection is the major mechanism of our evolution.

I want a t-shirt when it hits 666 Steves - just to feed the paranoia of the opposition.

Ediacaran, proud member of the EAC and Delta Pi Gamma (Scientia et Fermentum)

Evil, evil, evilutionist.

Fall rush is upon us, time to polish the PT cruiser and clean the frat house. I’m taking Chris Hackett’s statistical analysis course. It looks like his research is in irreproducible univariate statistical analysis, so my test answers shouldn’t have to match his. I expect an easy A.

Delta Pi Gamma (Scientia et Fermentum)

But are these stevensii a monophyletic taxon? (i.e., a clade.)


As with Steve’s who work in a number of different fields, stevensii are a diverse group. Several are plants, one mollusk, and some fungi.

I feel humbled whenever I look at the back of my T-shirt, seeing my name among those of many far more distinguished Steves.

Yup, thus proving my point about the NCSE Steves. Do they pretend they are rock stars when they see their names on the tee shirts?

Next up! Look Out Ladies Productions Presents the NCSE Steves at the Civic Center this Friday night only! Rock and roll will never be the same. Hear their new smash hit single, “I signed onto their list, and all I got was my name on this lousy tee shirt”!

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Skip published on September 12, 2005 1:40 PM.

Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone was the previous entry in this blog.

A Whole Bunch of PT Visits is the next entry in this blog.

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