Schism Emerges in New Intelligent Design Theory

| 36 Comments

A recent press release underlines the growing controversy about Intelligent Design theory by announcing the release of two competing books exploring the theory that the universe is the product of intelligent design by a entity known as the “Flying Spaghetti Monster”

One book, GOD SPEAKS! The Flying Spaghetti Monster in his Own Words by Jon Smith has been self published. The preview shows how the evidence strongly supports Intelligent Design. The author shows how anagrams such as “debit card - bad credit” can also be found in Genesis.

“In the beginning the Word was” becomes “Then God threw in a big new sin”. The author continues to explore the new religion of Pastafarianism and its creation Theory that the world was created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Pastafarianism all started with a frustrated Bobby Henderson writing a letter to the Kansas Board of Education

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him. (www.venganza.org)

Some new beliefs and practices have emerged such as the observation that the correct ending to a prayer should be ‘ramen’ not ‘amen’ and FSM teachers need to be baptized by “holy meat sauce”.

PandasThumb will be closely monitoring these shocking events, which show that the wedge is increasin in unexpected places.

Jon Smith is Dr. Jonathan C. Smith, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Professor of Psychology at Chicago’s Roosevelt University, and Founding Director of the Roosevelt University Stress Institute. Dr. Smith has published 15 books and more than three dozen articles on stress, relaxation, and meditation.

36 Comments

As a practising Pastafarian, I think they are both heretics. His Noodliness is fettucine, not spaghetti, which is an abomination unto the Lord.

I adhere to the Eastern Unorthodox branch of Pastafarianism, which holds that His Noodliness is made of RICE NOODLES, NOT Wheat noodles, and hence that RAMEN should be the FIRST word in all prayers to Him, not the last! We also opine that baptism should use a hot spicy broth with reconstituted dehydrated vegetables in it, and that to use tomato sauce is an ABOMINATION!

You heretical western heretics will BOIL in Wok for your heresies!

O! and by the way… it’s pronounced “La Myun” you heretical western bozos!

Eastern Unorthodox branch of Pastafarianism

No so. If you translate the literal reading of the Holy Instructions in the one and only correct way (Ludah Pasta), you would see that your INTERPRETATION of the pasta’s will is incorrect and riddled with translation errors. If you are interested, I can recommend a good, solid, truthful book on the subject. If you order now, you will receive 0.01% discount and a free gift of a very nice tight fitting white jacket, that I am no longer required to wear.

Renier Wrote:

No so. If you translate the literal reading of the Holy Instructions in the one and only correct way (Ludah Pasta), you would see that your INTERPRETATION of the pasta’s will is incorrect and riddled with translation errors. If you are interested, I can recommend a good, solid, truthful book on the subject. If you order now, you will receive 0.01% discount and a free gift of a very nice tight fitting white jacket, that I am no longer required to wear.

Is that Carol pulling a Larry?

:)

Boil in salt water, or fresh . … ?

The current issue (April/May 2006) of Asimov’s Science Fiction has a cover that looks like it was strongly influenced by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Being something of a wet noodle myself, I can’t tell if this is homage or blasphemy.

William E Emba Wrote:

Being something of a wet noodle myself, I can’t tell if this is homage or blasphemy.

That’s easy! Homage is anything done by someone you like; blasphemy is anything done by someone you don’t.

Though a conservative Christian, I find some parodies/satires of Christianity very funny. Monty Python comes to mind. But the FSM stuff? I don’t get it. It’s not that I find it offensive. Its fatal flaw, in my opinion, is that it is neither clever nor funny. It’s too dumb to even come close to being biting or offensive or in any way illuminating.

Some word-plays are amusing the first time you read them, but how does “Pastafanarian” and “Ramen” continue to tickle after the gazillionth time? Oh well, whatever floats your boat.

David, it is clear you are not a chosen one. Infidel! May the FSM smear you with his souce, in his infinite wisdom and flavour.

We will pray for your soul, David. In the meantime, stay the hell away from our kids.

Our spaghetti Who art in the colander Hallowed be thy sauce Thy serving come Thy strands be wrung On forks as they are on spoons Give us this day our daily meatball And forgive us our starchiness As we forgive those who are starchy against us And lead us not into Kraft parmesan But deliver us from Chef Boy Ardee For thine is the garlic And the onion and the bay leaves For ever and ever. Ramen

Brilliant!

it’s not mine, it’s found on the internet. don’t know who wrote it.

Though a conservative Christian, I find some parodies/satires of Christianity very funny. Monty Python comes to mind. But the FSM stuff? I don’t get it. It’s not that I find it offensive. Its fatal flaw, in my opinion, is that it is neither clever nor funny. It’s too dumb to even come close to being biting or offensive or in any way illuminating.

FSMism is just a reductio ad absurdum. As such, it’s appropriate for it to be, well, absurd…

***ducks a pile of thrown tagliatelle***

Heddle the heretic Wrote:

I don’t get it. It’s not that I find it offensive. Its fatal flaw, in my opinion, is that it is neither clever nor funny. It’s too dumb to even come close to being biting or offensive or in any way illuminating.

Yes! You’ve summed it up quite nicely. That is pretty much how I feel about Christianity.

Corkscrew, o ye of little spice!

Mr. Heddle: the whole FSM thing was made up to mock the IDers’ pretenses that “gaps” in the theory of evolution necessitated the teaching of religion-based creation-stories as science. The IDers’ kept swearing all over the place that they only wanted to “teach the controversy,” and that their precious “designer” could be ANYONE’s god, or space aliens. So we simply added “Yeah, it could just as easily be our just-made-up deity too! Gotta teach all sides without discriminating, right?”

I hold to the notion and the belief that the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s noodles originated from the ancient sacred gas clouds Big Bang Cookout in the Outer Limits of Space forming the nebula called the Philippines. This commencing the forming the neutrino rice particles matter that formed his holiness Rice Noodles appendages attached to his nebulous body for his evolving Intelligent Design matrix called the Flying Spaghetti Monster for all the sacred believers. Remember that Noodles symbolize prosperity, long life and good luck - and the longer noodle the better - Do Not Cut up your Noodles ( that would the ultimate Blasphemy you Infidels!)!

Therefore, imagine a sacred dish call Pancit Malabon with a steaming mound of sauteed Rice Noodles with bits of savory nematodes, chopped up annelids, marinated mollusks, stirred-fried arthropods, baked echinoderms, and mixture of ground chordates laced throughout with oils and garlic, the dish of the epoch gods that can only be tasted through our evolutionary taste buds of the finest natural selection sensory preceptors due too random mutation of genes. Thus was all planned by his holiness and the all powerful Flying Spaghetti Monster. Long may he Noodles us with savory goodness and Beer! Hic!

Heddle I hope you appreciate the irony of your latest missive.

What? 2 -3 weeks since you posted and it is “FSM? I don’t get it”

The Delicious double irony is this. 1. The FSM is nowhere near as funny as Monty Python.….……because it is just EXACTLY THE SAME AS Fundy talk with the g_word replaced. It’s not meant to be funny it is just as (deliberately) intellectually shallow as the people it parodies…THAT means YOU.

2. By parroting the Fundy DOG talk …anyone can do what Monty Python did except your mileage may vary.

David Heddle Wrote:

Though a conservative Christian, I find some parodies/satires of Christianity very funny. Monty Python comes to mind. But the FSM stuff? I don’t get it.

Pastafarians, correct me if I’m wrong, but I took FSM to be a parody if ID, not Christianity. BTW, I confess I don’t find it any funnier than ID itself. If anything I find ID itself to be a parody of all major religions. I guess that’s why few of them want any parts of it. Especially the part about how the designer might no longer exist (per Behe’s Dover testimony).

Two words: Ploink Ploink.

“Our spaghetti Who art in the colander…”

Y’all have too much time on your hands.

“We will pray for your soul, David. In the meantime, stay the hell away from our kids.”

Ramen brother

Heddle -

As someone who defines myself as a not-conservative Christian, and a staunch opponent of ID, let me spell it out for you.

The point is very simple. The sleazy efforts by creationists and “crID adovocateists” to teach one religious dogma to children as “science” violates the rights of anyone who holds any other belief.

This is a free country, more or less. That means that you worship as you want at home and in church, but in taxpayer-funded schools, children should be taught mainstream science, not one particular sect’s dogma.

Forcing your religious views onto children whose families may believe differently is no less offensive than it would be to force Pastafarianism on your children as “science”.

The FSM is, to me, funny as, if I may say without intended irony, hell. The mockery is not directed at Christianity per se, but at ostentatious and overbearing hypocritical fanatics who seek to force their views (and repress other, equally sincere beliefs) by unethical means.

It’s also a warning to said overbearing fanatics that there are many, many faith traditions in this country, all of whom have access to legal representation, should the need arise.

Heddle hammers home one point. Why do fundamentalists and most conservatives have such a poorly developed sense of humor?

Where are the jokes on AIG and UncommonD ? Where is the conservative Daily show? These guys just can’t lighten up.

The best humorist who was conservative I can think of was Bob Hope. I think he pulled it off by being self deprecating.

I suppose most of these folks just don’t have the humility to be effective with humor. Of course, we are proving intelligence is not necessary for humor, so that can’t be the problem.

Though a conservative Christian, I find some parodies/satires of Christianity very funny. Monty Python comes to mind. But the FSM stuff? I don’t get it.

I’m not at all surprised. (shrug)

Heddle hammers home one point. Why do fundamentalists and most conservatives have such a poorly developed sense of humor?

Where are the jokes on AIG and UncommonD ? Where is the conservative Daily show? These guys just can’t lighten up.

Like Puritans, the fundies are terrified that somebody somewhere might actually be having a good time. Instead of chanting prayers and worrying about their sins.

I suppose most of these folks just don’t have the humility to be effective with humor.

“Humility”? The very concept is foreign to them. Just look at Heddle.

David Heddle Wrote:

Though a conservative Christian, I find some parodies/satires of Christianity very funny. Monty Python comes to mind. But the FSM stuff? I don’t get it. It’s not that I find it offensive. Its fatal flaw, in my opinion, is that it is neither clever nor funny. It’s too dumb to even come close to being biting or offensive or in any way illuminating.

Amazing, simply amazing.

FSM:religion::ID:science.

The fact that you completely miss the point of FSM while the rest of us see it instantly shows how moronic your grasp of science really is.

I’m a Christian and I find FSM funny. Perhaps it’s not one’s religion but one’s insecurity that moves one to defensiveness instead of amusement?

The Conservatives have PJ O’Rourke for the funny, I suppose. But a quick google reveals he’s an evolutionista! A sense of humour is often a sign of intelligence.

“Death is even more important than pain. Death was invented so we could have evolution. The process of Darwinian selection does not work on things that don’t die. If it weren’t for death, we would all still be amoebas and would have to eat by surrounding things with their butts.”

“I think we were also supposed to be learning something from the famous Darwin’s finches. But, to tell the truth, they’re small, drab and boring. It is a mark of Darwin’s genius that he noticed them at all. Then, by observing the various evolutionary modifications in their little beaks, Darwin somehow discovered that men are descended from monkeys, although he would have known that already if he’d asked the men’s wives. “

Sory to reply to my own post, but I should perhaps add that I get the feeling the if you pointed out to Mr O’Rourke that things that reproduce by fission are still subject to evolutionary pressure while technically immortal, and that monkeys and man share a common ancestor, rather than man descending from them, that he would give you a withering stare and return to his vodka, but he would know what the heck you were talking about.

Comment #88593

Posted by LT on March 23, 2006 10:04 AM (e)

I’m a Christian and I find FSM funny. Perhaps it’s not one’s religion but one’s insecurity that moves one to defensiveness instead of amusement?

Wouldn’t surprise me. ID people are trying to find scientific evidence for their religious beliefs, because they suspect their faith isn’t enough.

Considering that I’ve never once seen Heddle post anything (intentionally) funny, I can safely say that his comments about the FSM are more indicative of his lack of humor than anything else.

Heddle hammers home one point. Why do fundamentalists and most conservatives have such a poorly developed sense of humor?

? Are you implying that Dembski is not deliberately funny?

What is the one true religion? Huge torrential white noise

Who is the one true God? The Wooden Righteous

Check out the Reformed Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Not a Christian putdown. Two books:

GOD SPEAKS! The Flying Spaghetti Monster in His Own Words

1,000,000 Verses Direct from the Flyning Spaghetti Monster

www.lulu.com/stress

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This page contains a single entry by PvM published on March 22, 2006 12:24 AM.

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