Ole Fashioned Southern California Creationism

| 61 Comments

Ever want some good ole fashioned southern California creationism? Well the Jesse Nickles, an international studies major at UC Irvine, has your answer: Evolution Doesn’t Make Much Sense. With arguments like these he will be running the Discovery Institute in no time.

Females: Although debatable, humans are the only species in which the females are more physically attractive than the males—the sole exception being, perhaps, Stephen Colbert. …

Time: According to the theory of evolution, it took millions of years for mankind to figure out how to cultivate, hunt, invent the wheel, etc., and yet, in the last few hundred years alone, we’ve discovered the steam engine, the car, electricity, the computer and the safety pin? You’ve got to be kidding me.

And don’t miss the surprise ending.

61 Comments

I just don’t understand the fascination these people have with collecting the same dozen stupid arguments, placing them in random order, and then inscribing their name at the bottom. It’s sort of a social ritual of shared stupidity; you bond with your fellow creationist by publicly avowing the same nonsense he publicly avowed last week.

Doesn’t Jesse have something better to do? (What does an ‘International Studies’ major do, anyway?)

That’s kind of long. Here, Jesse, I’ve tightened it up a little, really distilled your argument for you:

DNA, etc.

There, now, that packs a punch.

Gee …what a smart guy!

With almost no discernible knowledge of even elementary school level science, little Jesse has completely overturned biology, geology, physics, astronomy, history, . … . .

I sure am impressed!

Man, where were these idiots when I was growing up in Southern California? They either hid themselves well, or So Cal has become a mecca for the insane.

Well, that’s just tiresome. No surprise that he isn’t a science student.

This is not the first time Nickles has graced our university with his wisdom. Note his well-researched piece on climate change from a few months back. To be fair to UC Irvine and SoCal in general, Nickles’ ideas are hardly commonplace. His climate change article garnered its share of criticism, and his current masterpiece is doing so as well.

Sir_Toejam Wrote:

So Cal has become a mecca for the insane.

… “become”?

Jesse Nichols Wrote:

Language: Not only does mankind have a special brain capability that caters specifically to spoken language, but the human mouth, lips, tongue and larynx are perfectly suited to play along, with no sign of such harmony anywhere in sight for other species.

And the holes in our skin line up perfectly with our eyes!

International Studies Major = Capacity to perform brain surgery, Build replacement space shuttle, Factor 1024 digit numbers in only a few minutes and splice DNA.

I wish I had one. I bet he gets the chicks with a degree like that.

… “become”?

yes, I was born in Newport Beach and grew up there in the 70’s.

Believe me when I say that this kind of lunacy was not at all common in Orange County until much, much later.

I often wonder if Howard Ahmanson has played some critical role in acting like a beacon for these moths.

I got a chuckle out of his “Sex” argument that humans are the only species to have sex in private.

If other species were having sex in PRIVATE we, by definition, wouldn’t know about it… would we?!

He he.

Females: Although debatable, humans are the only species in which the females are more physically attractive than the males—the sole exception being, perhaps, Stephen Colbert.…

Surely that depends on your perspective ?

Chris Andrews Wrote:

I got a chuckle out of his “Sex” argument that humans are the only species to have sex in private.

If other species were having sex in PRIVATE we, by definition, wouldn’t know about it… would we?!

So how do we know that humans have sex, if it’s so private…? Or isn’t it so private after all?

humans are the only species in which the females are more physically attractive than the males

to humans, perhaps. Oh, wait, maybe I misunderstood. What units of “physically attractive” are we talking about here?

Jesse’s mindless twaddle ought to be an embarrassment to UC Irvine.

That he is a university student and writes this drivel boggles the mind.

What units of “physically attractive” are we talking about here?

Rilly. Hubba-hubbas, or va-va-vooms? It makes a difference.

To tell the truth, the only units I’m familiar with are “millihelens,” being defined as the amount of beauty necessary to launch one ship.

Milli Helens? I had a date with her once…

:-)

Hey, Sir_Toejam, I was born in South Gate, Calif., and grew up in Huntington Beach during the 60’s.

I guess we wuz almost neighbors . …

I weep for what HB has become.

when I was 15, we used to surf huntington near bolsa chica; parked at the big dirt lot near the river outlet.

now, it’s all condos as far as the eye can see.

*sigh*

Orange County is pretty much dead to me now, sorry to say.

even the name is a misnomer any more; no more orange groves left.

I was certain that the posting was a joke, a lampoon, until I saw everyone here taking it seriously. Wow.

I’m still not entirely certain, Sam. The Colbert reference near the beginning seemed suspicious to me … Is it at all possible that this guy’s published persona is an extended bit of performance art, kind of like Pee-Wee Herman (but dweebier and less attractive)?

A fourth year student, eh? I see that he has named to call out the names of the most worn and dreary canards that show, irresistibly and incontrovertibly, that evolution cannot be. And that it’s nasty, too.

Wonder how he’s ranked by his professors and his peers.

Oop!

“learned to call out the names,” as all must have already deduced.

Females: Although debatable, humans are the only species in which the females are more physically attractive than the males—the sole exception being, perhaps, Stephen Colbert.…

Why would this indicate we are somehow superior? Couldn’t it just as easily mean we are inferior? Why can’t it be “sequential”?

Worst of all it isn’t true. I can think of another one that is less debatable than humans: the Black Widow. The female is so striking she looks fake. The male is a drab brown runt.

At the bottom of his … essay, young Jesse wrote: “Jesse Nickles is a fourth-year international studies major. He can be reached at [Enable javascript to see this email address.].”

I sincerely doubt it. There is no way he could be reached if he is willing to publicly embarrass himself by posting his ignorance for all to see. And UC should take away the “.edu” at the end of this email address.

Worst of all it isn’t true. I can think of another one that is less debatable than humans: the Black Widow. The female is so striking she looks fake. The male is a drab brown runt.

The widow female isn’t necessarily more “attractive” than the male, though, since her coloring is AFAIK more for warning than mate attraction.

But yeah, it’s been known to be false for centuries. Darwin listed several bird species with more striking females (who also perform/fight more for mates, etc.) in the Descent.

Come to think of it, I don’t really know what “attractive” is supposed to mean here. Arguably females are more uniformly “attractive” to males than vice versa in the majority of mammal species, simply because males are less choosy.

I was Director of the Orange Counth Natural History Museum, and I was a studnet at UCI 1969-1976. I still live behind the orange curtain. We have a long history of rightwing whack nuts in addition to Ahmanson. The Knott family was the money machine for the John Birch Society and the Minute Men (with plenty of help I heard from Disney). The Minute Men were probably sexually inadequate, but they were heavily armed (compensation?) to mount a counter attack against the Roman Catholics, Communists, and the Negroes. Kent Hovind was a total amateur compared to Benny Hinn, Paul and Jan Crouch, the Schuller family cash machine, and oh so many others still rakeing in the cash from OC.

The “Children of God” died in Waco but they started in the late ’60s in Hunington Beach. Charley Manson camped out in Laguna Canyon for a while, as did Tim Leary, and the later mega freek Bagwan Rashneesh.

Anton Writes…

The widow female isn’t necessarily more “attractive” … her coloring is more for warning

Considering some of the girlfriends I had when I was younger, this would have been a very handy feature.

On the other hand, it probably wouldn’t have stopped me anyway. It doesn’t stop the black widow males.

Sir Toejam - remember the Continental Tilt Theory? The Intelligent Designer picked up the United States by the tip of downeast Maine, and all the loose nuts rolled into Southern California.

My take is that even the creationist clowns at the Discovery Institute cringe at seeing this type of claptrap seriously touted about. This guy hasn’t even made it to the big lie about the science of intelligent design. I wouldn’t be surprsed if the ID scam aritst might refer to ridiculously bogus creationists arguments that depend on an ignorance so deep or a incompetence so profound (you can’t rule out dishonesty) as bonehead age creationism. This doesn’t mean that they won’t engage in it when they know that they can get away with it, because it still fools a lot of people, but you don’t see them touting the junk where it matters like in court and the Ohio model lesson plan.

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This page contains a single entry by Reed A. Cartwright published on June 1, 2007 3:11 PM.

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