Baraminologists deny ‘hoax’ charges, threaten legal action

| 64 Comments

Apparently the charge made on Panda’s Thumb that the Institute for Noachian Studies Fellows Dr. Orbin S. Thicke and Rev. Bob-Bob Lee’s ground-breaking approach to determining the taxonomic level of the Biblical “kinds” on Noah’s Ark is no more than a hoax perpetrated by Dr. Boli has struck a nerve, perhaps even two nerves. According to this story, spotted by Dr. Boli’s clipping service, crack baraminological researchers Thicke and Lee have vehemently denied that their forthcoming book, promised for publication in February 2043, is a hoax.

“We have established a methodology,” Dr. Thicke said. “A top-quality study will take some time, which is why we have given ourselves thirty-four years to complete it. There is no need for critics to weigh in before the study is even finished.”

“We knew we would face opposition from the satanic atheistic communistic Islamofascist spawn of hell,” added the Rev. Bob-Bob. “But a true scientist follows the facts wherever they lead him, as long as they do not lead him outside the pages of Genesis.”

It’s of note also that another set of theoreticians has weighed in:

Meanwhile, a spokesman for Answers in Hesiod, a classical pagan fundamentalist think tank, strongly condemned the projected study for failing to take into account the scientifically valid theory that Chaos, Gaia, and Eros arose spontaneously from nothing.

Let a thousand flowers bloom for a moment and then die and be woven into leis for … um. Oh. Sorry. Wrong fantasy. What was it someone once said about open minds and falling brains?

Panda’s Thumb spokesbear Professor Steve Steve was unavailable for comment due to a prior commitment with some bamboo stalks in eggnog. But I heard him exclaim as he trundled out of sight, “Happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!”

64 Comments

So, is that, like, a metahoax, or something?

Right…this reads like a hoax hoax.

I still say that Lee & Thicke are hoaxers. If they had really intended to complete their study, they wouldn’t have announced a publication date that came after the Rapture. If they’re good Christians, they’ll be caught up in the air before they can finish. If they aren’t, they’ll be too busy with the Tribulation to finish.

Meanwhile, hijack a merry Christmas from the Christians, who hijacked Saturnalia from the Romans, and various other pagan solstice festivals from various other folks.

John Harshman said: I still say that Lee & Thicke are hoaxers.

Someone should tell poor Dr. Boli that Lee and Thicke are hoaxing him!

Hey, it isn’t Dr. Boli’s fault. He merely accepted an ad. Since the ad doesn’t actually solicit money, it can’t be considered fraud.

This is why I read The Pagan’s Thumb.

Sounds like the potential plot for Terry Gilliam’s next film. Maybe we can get Premise Media to sign on as a co-producer, while the ultimate producing authority lies in the hands of Gilliam, Eric Idle or John Cleese.

Aren’t you taking this thing more seriously than it should be?

Dr. Boli’s celebrated magazine is simply a joke, for instance read his bio:

“Today, at the age of 226, Dr. Boli still edits the maga­zine personally, at a time of life when other men might be con­sidering an honorable retirement. As a concession, however, to his advancing years, he no longer writes every word of the magazine himself. At present he writes every other word, the intervening words being supplied by a well-known agency.”

The answer of the authors sound more like a line from South Park, than something a self-appointed scientist would say: “satanic atheistic communistic Islamofascist spawn of hell,”

It’s just a joke, nothing to be taken seriously.

SexComb said:

Aren’t you taking this thing more seriously than it should be?

Nope, I’m taking it precisely as seriously as it warrants.

It’s just a joke, nothing to be taken seriously.

Around here we take our joking rly srsly.

SexComb, someone is certainly taking something too seriously. For my part, I’ll be strapping on my Christmas sensibilitometer and creeping about the house making “zoop zoop” noises to check for fluctuations in the gravitas field

This reads like those UFO reports from the 60’s…

Sounds like these doughty researchers are being libelled, and should take full use of England’s libel laws, which seem to have been created (not evolved) specifically for this purpose. I therefore humbly suggest they enlist my lawyer.

Sounds like he could be a Gallifreyan Time Lord in disguise:

SexComb said:

Aren’t you taking this thing more seriously than it should be?

Dr. Boli’s celebrated magazine is simply a joke, for instance read his bio:

“Today, at the age of 226, Dr. Boli still edits the maga­zine personally, at a time of life when other men might be con­sidering an honorable retirement. As a concession, however, to his advancing years, he no longer writes every word of the magazine himself. At present he writes every other word, the intervening words being supplied by a well-known agency.”

The answer of the authors sound more like a line from South Park, than something a self-appointed scientist would say: “satanic atheistic communistic Islamofascist spawn of hell,”

It’s just a joke, nothing to be taken seriously.

John Kwok said:

Sounds like he could be a Gallifreyan Time Lord in disguise

Don’t make me use the Omega Sanction on you and trap you in the “Life that is Death in Disco”

“Chaos, Gaia, and Eros arose spontaneously from nothing.”

I don’t know about Gaia, but I’ve certainly experienced both Chaos and Eros arising spontaneously from nothing. Sometimes together.

No! Please don’t send me back to the 70’s! Anything but that!

(Of course, the 70’s also gave us Dark Side of the Moon and Close to the Edge…)

fnxtr said:

No! Please don’t send me back to the 70’s! Anything but that!

(Of course, the 70’s also gave us Dark Side of the Moon and Close to the Edge…)

And Disco Inferno

No, no, no… not the Disco Tute. Anything but the Disco Tute please. I know the Master has been paying Dembski visits, urging him onward:

Stanton said:

John Kwok said:

Sounds like he could be a Gallifreyan Time Lord in disguise

Don’t make me use the Omega Sanction on you and trap you in the “Life that is Death in Disco”

Dr. Boli is hysterical. If you entertain for 1 minute the notion that he is serious, check out his ad for Ampersand Sons.

Dr. Boli has also published the following notice on his blog:

Recently Dr. Boli has heard rumors to the effect that “H. Albertus Boli” is really a pseudonym for the well-known writer Christopher Bailey. Dr. Boli refuses either to confirm or to deny these rumors, since to do so would be to lend them a dignity of which they are wholly undeserving. He would merely ask the rumormongers what makes them so certain that “Christopher Bailey” is not a pseudonym for H. Albertus Boli.

There are of course a lot of Christopher Baileys, but with a little judicious Googling I think you can figure out which one Dr. Boli masquerades as.

I don’t know about Gaia, but I’ve certainly experienced both Chaos and Eros arising spontaneously from nothing. Sometimes together.

Don’t worry. That is normal. We’ve all been there.

Stanton said:

fnxtr said:

No! Please don’t send me back to the 70’s! Anything but that!

(Of course, the 70’s also gave us Dark Side of the Moon and Close to the Edge…)

And Disco Inferno

…the Talking Heads, the B52s, Roxy Music, the Nuns, the Avengers, the Dead Kennedys, the Butthole Surfers, Foetus, Cluster, Kraftwerk, the Ramones…a wide and wonderful decade!!!one11!

You’re forgetting The Police, The Clash, Dire Straits, Elton John, Billy Joel, The Eagles, and the Boss, Bruce Springsteen:

Butch Pansy said:

Stanton said:

fnxtr said:

No! Please don’t send me back to the 70’s! Anything but that!

(Of course, the 70’s also gave us Dark Side of the Moon and Close to the Edge…)

And Disco Inferno

…the Talking Heads, the B52s, Roxy Music, the Nuns, the Avengers, the Dead Kennedys, the Butthole Surfers, Foetus, Cluster, Kraftwerk, the Ramones…a wide and wonderful decade!!!one11!

John Kwok said:

You’re forgetting The Police, The Clash, Dire Straits, Elton John, Billy Joel, The Eagles, and the Boss, Bruce Springsteen:

Butch Pansy said:

Stanton said:

fnxtr said:

No! Please don’t send me back to the 70’s! Anything but that!

(Of course, the 70’s also gave us Dark Side of the Moon and Close to the Edge…)

And Disco Inferno

…the Talking Heads, the B52s, Roxy Music, the Nuns, the Avengers, the Dead Kennedys, the Butthole Surfers, Foetus, Cluster, Kraftwerk, the Ramones…a wide and wonderful decade!!!one11!

That sounds more like 70s and 80s. Anyway, as the no-name decade comes to an end I’m still lost in the 50s. For Chritmans I received my 3rd copy (one is an LP) of “Kind of Blue.” This one has bonus tracks that I don’t have on CD or at all, though.

Chritmans? My New Year’s resolution (which I’ll probably break by 1/2/10) is to use spel chekcer.

This isn’t the no-name decade, it’s the noughties!

And before I forget, David Bowie, Gloria Gaynor, Donna Summer, Hall & Oates, Emerson Lake Palmer.…

Wheels said:

This isn’t the no-name decade, it’s the noughties!

Frank J said:

John Kwok said:

You’re forgetting The Police, The Clash, Dire Straits, Elton John, Billy Joel, The Eagles, and the Boss, Bruce Springsteen:

Butch Pansy said:

Stanton said:

fnxtr said:

No! Please don’t send me back to the 70’s! Anything but that!

(Of course, the 70’s also gave us Dark Side of the Moon and Close to the Edge…)

And Disco Inferno

…the Talking Heads, the B52s, Roxy Music, the Nuns, the Avengers, the Dead Kennedys, the Butthole Surfers, Foetus, Cluster, Kraftwerk, the Ramones…a wide and wonderful decade!!!one11!

That sounds more like 70s and 80s. Anyway, as the no-name decade comes to an end I’m still lost in the 50s. For Chritmans I received my 3rd copy (one is an LP) of “Kind of Blue.” This one has bonus tracks that I don’t have on CD or at all, though.

The Wrong Reverend said:

“But a true scientist follows the facts wherever they lead him, as long as they do not lead him outside the pages of Genesis.”

There are simply no words to describe how utterly insane this is, so I won’t waste any more.

“But a true scientist follows the facts wherever they lead him, as long as they do not lead him outside the pages of Genesis.”

Am - trying -to … shit, no, still ROFLMAO!

DS said:

The Wrong Reverend said:

“But a true scientist follows the facts wherever they lead him, as long as they do not lead him outside the pages of Genesis.”

There are simply no words to describe how utterly insane this is, so I won’t waste any more.

Consistent, though, with the previous “beyond which it is not permissible to search for common ancestors.”

It is this level of consistency that betrays the Poe. Real creationist arguments tend to struggle to approach such a level of internal coherence.

John Kwok said:

And before I forget, David Bowie, Gloria Gaynor, Donna Summer, Hall & Oates, Emerson Lake Palmer.…

*banishes John to the Life That Is Death on The Lawrence Welk Show*

… and yes, I meant “Istanbul”. Sorry.

fnxtr said:

… and yes, I meant “Istanbul”. Sorry.

That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.

Stanton Wrote:

That’s nobody’s business but the Turks’.

After all, it’s their party and they’ll change their name if they want to.

Thanks for the George Gee link, John.

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This page contains a single entry by Richard B. Hoppe published on December 24, 2009 5:30 PM.

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