Evil Monkey See, Evil Monkey Do

| 12 Comments

Never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey:”

A Chinese man who saved a one-armed, one-legged monkey says the primate has paid him back - by killing all of his chickens.

<bevis>
Good thing the monkey didn’t see the farmer choke his chicken.
</butthead>

12 Comments

What is he going to do now, spank the monkey?

But seriously, how does a one armed one legged monkey catch a chicken let alone kill it? Could be a new circus act.

Even more seriously, this seems to be a microcosm for creationism. Creationists are always apeing scientific behavior and in the process are always mangling something.

Less seriously, if evolution is true, how come there are still monkeys and chickens?

It’s most likely a fake story.

When it saw him crack some eggs to make a meal it went into the hen coop and smashed all of the eggs it could find.

And when Li slaughtered a chicken, the monkey copied him and has since killed about 80 chickens, reports the Chuncheng Evening Post.

The chicken farmer wouldn’t have a lock on his chicken coop to keep thieves from stealing his property?

Li found the seriously injured monkey in a forest more than a year ago when it jumped into a basket on his back.

He found the monkey’s right arm and left leg were rotten and took it home where he cut off the decayed limbs and gave it anti-inflammatory medication.

He nursed the monkey back to health and it made an astonishing recovery, putting on weight and soon started to help around the home.

Shouldn’t the monkey have died within a few months from infection?

If we evolved from monkeys why do we have 2 arms and 2 legs?

“And when Li slaughtered a chicken, the monkey copied him and has since killed about 80 chickens, reports the Chuncheng Evening Post.”

Man that Li is one stupid guy. I guess spanking the monkey did not serve as a sufficient deterrent. After about 49 chickens, you would think that he would have thought to cut off the monkey’s other leg, or at least closed the door to the chicken coop. Either way, I guess he got what he deserved. Now if monkeys evolved, why are there still chickens?

This comment has been moved to The Bathroom Wall.

This comment has been moved to The Bathroom Wall.

Low-paid kitchen help subsequently lobbied the government to tighten up the jungle border fences and to pass stronger laws that would prohibit one-armed, one-legged monkeys from being hired to slaughter livestock for less than the minimum wage.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was trying to get away from the monkey.

A gorilla at the zoo was famous for imitating the visitors. A guy was enjoying watching the gorilla imitate his various movements. He scratched his left ear; but instead of imitating him, the gorilla went berserk, grabbed the guy through the bars and beat the hell out of him. The zookeeper rushed up and said “what did you do to make him so angry?” The guy said “I just scratched my left ear.” “Ohhh - never scratch your left ear in front of a gorilla - that’s gorilla language for giving him the finger.” So the guy went home and came back. He went through various motions which the gorilla copied. Then he opened his fly, stuck out a peperoni, took out a knife and cut it off. Then he tossed the knife to the gorilla. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at the guy, and scratched his left ear.

I’m calling bull on this story, for reasons other posters have already noted.

Monkey brains for dinner.

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Reed A. Cartwright published on July 12, 2010 12:48 AM.

More DI Word Games was the previous entry in this blog.

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