I wish I still lived in Minnesota …

| 32 Comments

… because then I could go to Minicon 46 and attend this bit of programming:

Creation Museum Slideshow - 8:30 PM Saturday
John Scalzi shares photos and stories from his visit to “the very best monument to an enormous load of horseshit that you could possibly ever hope to see.” Hilarity ensues.
John Scalzi, Rob Callahan moderating

Here’s Scalzi’s original report on the visit. One memorable extract:

Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

And this is, in sum, the Creation Museum. $27 million has purchased the very best monument to an enormous load of horseshit that you could possibly ever hope to see.

Just so.

Hat tip to Scalzi his own self

32 Comments

But Ham and the Young Earth Fundies and their Museum accept the main claim of Darwinism: species mutability. In fact, the museum displays lots of evolution to account for species.

Look what Darwin hath wrought!

And now Faux News is going to add this pile of horseshit to its own pile of horseshit. Yippie!

With so much shit, they should be able to make the “Ark Encounter” a real olfactory experience.

Oh yeah. I was working out at the town gym this morning, and recently they remodeled and put in a row of large panel displays. I usually find them distracting while I’m trying to work up a sweat, but when FOX flashed up “CREATION MUSEUM”, various quotes about what a silly trashload the place is, and then Ken Ham’s smiling face – I think he gives me the creeps worse when he’s smiling – I wondered: “WHAT is this?” No sound on the gym TVs, no subtitles on the commercial.

Thanks to the magic carpet of Google, now I know, sorry I asked. Ham’s playing the “everybody’s picking on us” card. Which I guess is a fairly good pitch on their target audience.

As Skip Roper and Mojo Nixon once exclaimed: “A turd so big, it had other, little turds orbiting around it!”

Is this the same John Scalzi who wrote Old Man’s War? If so, a wonderful writer. If not, then we have TWO John Scalzis who are wonderful writers.

You do know snow is in the forecast here in MN, don’t you?

Oops, should have followed more of the links. It is indeed the same man. I have all his books, and they are entertaining as hell.

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit.

Well, the Kentucky Derby will soon be upon us. Guess the bluegrass state can really crank it out, on way or another.

Hee-hee! I contributed to the fund he set up a few years ago to visit that pile of horseshit. He donated all of it to NCSE, I believe. :)

Yes, it is the same John Scalzi. I read what he writes, wishing I’d said that.

And if I were in the United States - hell, if I were in the western hemisphere - I’d so be there for that.

I dunno-I went to foxnews and searched for “museum” and got this: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/0[…]an-specimen/ but nothing about Ken Ham’s museum.

Yeah, Scalzi and Stevenson (Cryptonomicron) have some truly elegant turns of phrase. I particularly liked one of the introductions of a character in Cryptonomicron, that described every living thing as a stupendous badass, because anything that wasn’t a stupendous badass was eaten by a stupendous badass.

Stephenson seems to toss those things offhand, and some of them are really neat. In Cryptonomicon, he described a fax machine as “sounding like a bird in a coffee can”. Yeah, I wish I could think those things up too.

Thank you for endorsing Darwin’s ideas. That’s our problem with that worthless museum too. What hypocrites!

Ray Martinez said:

But Ham and the Young Earth Fundies and their Museum accept the main claim of Darwinism: species mutability. In fact, the museum displays lots of evolution to account for species.

Look what Darwin hath wrought!

Flint said:

Stephenson seems to toss those things offhand, and some of them are really neat. In Cryptonomicon, he described a fax machine as “sounding like a bird in a coffee can”. Yeah, I wish I could think those things up too.

I love Stephenson’s writing, but IMHO William Gibson is the better literary stylist. Read the opening sentence of “Neuromancer”, which is still the best opening sentence I have read in any novel published since 1980 (Incidentally both have been important literary influences on my own unpublished fiction.).

I browsed through Scalzi’s photo tour. It’s more extensive than PZ’s tour reporting. I hadn’t been aware of the actual timeline of creation before. It’s a little hard to read, but it looks like Noah’s flood happened in about 2400BC (the “Catastrophe” part), and the Towel of Babel about 100 years later (the “Confusion” part).

That’s pretty impressive, in that the ancient Egyptians, Minoans, Chinese, Indians, and Sumerians don’t seem to have noticed this global flood. You would think that the Egyptian pyramids would have shown some signs of inundation.

It’s also impressive that within 100 to 150 years, 8 people from the Ark managed to rebuild the city of Babel enough to build a tower to rival God himself. Let’s see. Maybe someone has already done this. But if we assume a generation of 20 years, starting with 4 women, assuming about 20,000 people in the city of Babel (a society large enough to support a major building project on the scale of the Pyramids), then every woman would have had to give birth to 10 to 30 children every 20 years over a fertile lifetime of 100 years. (Assuming an infant mortality rate of about 50% (a rough estimate for the Bronze age), and half of the children were males.) Assuming an actual fertile life span of about 30 years, and we’re looking at about 50-100 kids per woman in just under 15 years, or about 3 to 6 kids every year per woman. Just rough back-of-the-napkin estimates.

Rather impressive. I had no idea that Noah’s family was so damn fertile. :-)

Hmm… My statistics are probably very rusty. :-)

Rather impressive. I had no idea that Noah’s family was so damn fertile. :-)

Maybe that’s why they call that part of the world the fertile crescent?

Scott F said: That’s pretty impressive, in that the ancient Egyptians, Minoans, Chinese, Indians, and Sumerians don’t seem to have noticed this global flood. You would think that the Egyptian pyramids would have shown some signs of inundation.

Here’s some additional commentary on this very point.

Scott F said: That’s pretty impressive, in that the ancient Egyptians, Minoans, Chinese, Indians, and Sumerians don’t seem to have noticed this global flood. You would think that the Egyptian pyramids would have shown some signs of inundation.

Ham’s timelines are pretty funny.

2500 BCE The Egyptians start building pyramids.

2400 BCE God destroys the biosphere and kills all but 8 people in a Flood.

2300 BCE The Egyptians are still building pyramids, not realizing that there was a Flood and that they are, in fact, dead.

raven said:

Scott F said: That’s pretty impressive, in that the ancient Egyptians, Minoans, Chinese, Indians, and Sumerians don’t seem to have noticed this global flood. You would think that the Egyptian pyramids would have shown some signs of inundation.

Ham’s timelines are pretty funny.

2500 BCE The Egyptians start building pyramids.

2400 BCE God destroys the biosphere and kills all but 8 people in a Flood.

2300 BCE The Egyptians are still building pyramids, not realizing that there was a Flood and that they are, in fact, dead.

One of the things that have struck me about ID/creationists, even back in the 1970s, is their need to make their religion appear to be “respectable” by propping it up with pseudo-science.

Their “science” is so bad that it is more embarrassing than their childish sectarian beliefs about their holy book.

Having childish sectarian beliefs may make them look quaint and a bit doltish; but their pseudo-science makes them look desperately and compulsively stupid.

raven said:

Scott F said: That’s pretty impressive, in that the ancient Egyptians, Minoans, Chinese, Indians, and Sumerians don’t seem to have noticed this global flood. You would think that the Egyptian pyramids would have shown some signs of inundation.

Ham’s timelines are pretty funny.

2500 BCE The Egyptians start building pyramids.

2400 BCE God destroys the biosphere and kills all but 8 people in a Flood.

2300 BCE The Egyptians are still building pyramids, not realizing that there was a Flood and that they are, in fact, dead.

Actually, the thing was that the ancient Egyptians loved floods and deluges. Because they were so depended on the Nile for literally everything, the idea of a flood being a bad thing was utterly alien to them.

As such, when the world was flooded, while everyone else was dying in buckets, the ancient Egyptians were having a never-ending party with their Atlantean water-toys and solar barges. It’s just that all of the evidence for their party was either washed away during the Great Flood, or were destroyed by the Coptic Christians and Mamluks.

Speaking of really big floods and really big wooden boats - did you know that Noah had really big wooden cranes?

Oh yeah.

Here’s what AiG said last week, and I quote, “Even in the small details, the AiG web team strives to preserve biblical accuracy as far as possible. In this case, the web banner for the Ark Encounter site upholds what we believe to be an accurate portrayal of the Ark’s construction.”

Please note the giant cranes at arkencounter.com (I don’t think the Egyptians, or the Romans, or Medieval Europeans, built wooden cranes that big! Maybe they did, and I just don’t have good engineering sense.)

Even in this small detail, apparently, AiG is striving to preserve biblical accuracy by an accurate portrayal of the Ark’s construction.

I wonder if they will use such wooden cranes in their reconstruction? I wonder if their reconstruct will float? Will it be seaworthy in super hurricane seas? I hope so.

Flint said:

Stephenson seems to toss those things offhand, and some of them are really neat. In Cryptonomicon, he described a fax machine as “sounding like a bird in a coffee can”. Yeah, I wish I could think those things up too.

In What’s the Worse That Could Happen, the late Donald Westlake described a fax machine as sounding like “a lot of baby pigeons being tortured to death all at once.”

anon said:

You do know snow is in the forecast here in MN, don’t you?

When I lived there, back in the Dark Ages, there were four seasons: Spring (July 3), Summer (July 4), Autumn (July 5), and Winter (all the rest). :)

That was one hilarious slideshow, and all the comments were great too. Now if I could only stop laughing!

RBH said:

anon said:

You do know snow is in the forecast here in MN, don’t you?

When I lived there, back in the Dark Ages, there were four seasons: Spring (July 3), Summer (July 4), Autumn (July 5), and Winter (all the rest). :)

Dig it. Where I grew up, they used to say that they could only go on a picnic those years when summer fell on a weekend.

Flint said:

RBH said:

anon said:

You do know snow is in the forecast here in MN, don’t you?

When I lived there, back in the Dark Ages, there were four seasons: Spring (July 3), Summer (July 4), Autumn (July 5), and Winter (all the rest). :)

Dig it. Where I grew up, they used to say that they could only go on a picnic those years when summer fell on a weekend.

When I lived in England, people would say that English summers were great, if you happened to have that day off.

Here in New England we have the extra seasons that take up part of what others would call spring: mud and pothole seasons.

I’ve always thought that here in cold areas fall should be broken into more seasons. We have the unoffical “leaf season,” but I’d like to add “locking in.” That’s after leaf season, when it’s cold and preferably frosting every day, but before the snow comes. It’s a lovely gray, depressing season, with a terrible beauty.

Here’s the most memorable opening line I’ve come across in any novel I have read published since 1980, William Gibson’s “Neuromancer”, published appropriately enough in 1984:

“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

You can read an extended excerpt from the first chapter here:

http://www.williamgibsonbooks.com/b[…]romancer.asp

John Kwok said:

Here’s the most memorable opening line I’ve come across in any novel I have read published since 1980, William Gibson’s “Neuromancer”, published appropriately enough in 1984:

“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

You can read an extended excerpt from the first chapter here:

http://www.williamgibsonbooks.com/b[…]romancer.asp

…and in 50 years or so, almost no one will know what he’s talking about since digital TVs don’t look the way he describes.

–W. H. Heydt

Old Used Programmer

David Fickett-Wilbar said: Here in New England we have the extra seasons that take up part of what others would call spring: mud and pothole seasons.

Here in California, we have (1) the rainy season (which includes the mudslide season), which eventually becomes (2) the dry season, which eventually transitions into (3) the fire season, which in turn is extinguished by the rainy season as the cycle repeats.

W. H. Heydt said:

John Kwok said:

Here’s the most memorable opening line I’ve come across in any novel I have read published since 1980, William Gibson’s “Neuromancer”, published appropriately enough in 1984:

“The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

…and in 50 years or so, almost no one will know what he’s talking about since digital TVs don’t look the way he describes.

That’s the first thing I thought when I read John’s post.

My 16 year old nephew would read that and think “primary blue? That doesn’t sound so bad.”

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Richard B. Hoppe published on April 15, 2011 5:44 PM.

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