Journal of Universal Rejection

| 19 Comments

It’s here. Not only does this journal have the highest rejection rate of any journal; it has no page charges. You may submit your manuscript with no anxiety, since you know it will be rejected. Unfortunately, as a colleague of mine has pointed out, if the paper is rejected immediately, you may not leave it on your resume for long; it would be better if they held your paper under review forever.

You may buy a T-shirt at their store: they claim that they will not reject your money.

Finally, if you submit a paper to a journal that will never publish it, have you created any information?

Thanks to John Scales of the Colorado School of Mines for the link.

19 Comments

Q: If a paper is rejected by all journals to which it is submitted, has its author created any information? A: Yes, Bruce Schneier reads everything, all submitted scientific papers, rejected or not.

Cool, a journal to reject science at the rate BIO-Complexity does.

Glen Davidson

According to local legend, the departmental record for rejection by Nature in our department at Berkeley is less than 20 minutes. That’s some high-quality rejection. Can the Journal of Universal Rejection do better?

Can the Journal of Universal Rejection do better?

I do not know, but a friend of mine is a writer of short stories. You would be surprised how many people do not know how famous he is. He has been rejected by the finest publishers in Europe and America.

They rejected my paper on Time Travel before I submitted it. Now I’m wondering: Would I be wasting money on postage by sending it to them?

SensuousCurmudgeon said:

They rejected my paper on Time Travel before I submitted it. Now I’m wondering: Would I be wasting money on postage by sending it to them?

You didn’t use enough Thiotimoline.

Instant rejection is, alas, not usually the lot of the fiction writer. It takes months at least, sometimes years. And of course publishers get very huffy if you submit to other publishers while you wait.

That’s nothing - they rejected my paper on Precognition before I even thought of it.

You can’t accuse them of conflict of interest, since they draw the same revenue from the manuscripts they accept or reject.

Maybe we’ve been wrong all these years.

Maybe the ICR has been churning out high quality “research” for years, it’s just that they’ve been sending it to this journal, on the premise that they Universally Reject evolution, so it’s a perfect venue for them.

Maybe That’s why they have never had a paper published.

OT, but Introduction to Genetics and Evolution has started. And the ID creationists are already spamming the discussion forum! (Our own thread for this is closed)

You didn’t use enough Thiotimoline.

Nah, what was needed was more dilithium crystals.

Or is Thiotimoline what a flux capacitor needs?

SensuousCurmudgeon said:

They rejected my paper on Time Travel before I submitted it. Now I’m wondering: Would I be wasting money on postage by sending it to them?

I was going to submit one on the technicological feasibility of Warp Drive. I wonder if they’ll reject it faster than I can say, “Beam me up, Scotty!!”

stevaroni said:

Maybe we’ve been wrong all these years.

Maybe the ICR has been churning out high quality “research” for years, it’s just that they’ve been sending it to this journal, on the premise that they Universally Reject evolution, so it’s a perfect venue for them.

Maybe That’s why they have never had a paper published.

I wonder whether this is an outlet too for the delusional folks at Uncommonly Dense and the Disco Tute Ministry of Propaganda?

Henry J said:

You didn’t use enough Thiotimoline.

Nah, what was needed was more dilithium crystals.

Or is Thiotimoline what a flux capacitor needs?

My money is on the dilithium and the James T. Kirk slingshot maneuver for time travel by a starship.

Since they’ve already rejected my Time Travel paper, I’ve decided that I won’t bother submitting it to them. It’s true that I have a rejection letter for a paper I never submitted, but I’m not worried about the paradox. It’s foolish to think that this could disrupt the continuum. Nothing will go wrong. Absolutely noth–

John said: I was going to submit one on the technicological feasibility of Warp Drive. I wonder if they’ll reject it faster than I can say, “Beam me up, Scotty!!”

I know your comment was intended as comedy, but don’t be too quick to laugh at faster-than-light ‘warp’ drives. Miguel Alcubierre put such drives on a solid theoretical footing in 1994 with his construction of the Alcubierre Metric of General Relativity. In the years since, there has been some small activity in the field with various new problems being discovered and addressed, as well as mathematical refinements to the basic metric. Currently, a Dr. Harold White at JSC has proposed a proof-of-principle test.

The Wikipedia article on the ‘Alcubierre Drive’ is very pessimistic-sounding; better to do some independent searching.

J. L. Brown said:

John said: I was going to submit one on the technicological feasibility of Warp Drive. I wonder if they’ll reject it faster than I can say, “Beam me up, Scotty!!”

I know your comment was intended as comedy, but don’t be too quick to laugh at faster-than-light ‘warp’ drives. Miguel Alcubierre put such drives on a solid theoretical footing in 1994 with his construction of the Alcubierre Metric of General Relativity. In the years since, there has been some small activity in the field with various new problems being discovered and addressed, as well as mathematical refinements to the basic metric. Currently, a Dr. Harold White at JSC has proposed a proof-of-principle test.

The Wikipedia article on the ‘Alcubierre Drive’ is very pessimistic-sounding; better to do some independent searching.

I have potential literary reasons why I wouldn’t dimiss FTL drive, and I believe that at least one SF writer has referred to the Alcubierre Drive in his fiction. However, I couldn’t help but make a snarky comment, J. L.

John Kwok

This has been done before … in poetry. See http://www.futilityreview.com

J

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This page contains a single entry by Matt Young published on October 9, 2012 4:33 PM.

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